Wednesday, August 26, 2009

烂华语篇之~人情味

看完淫渣的性感课题,我们来探讨一个感性的‘人情味’。

你觉得个人利益和人情味那个会来得重要?

当然我们都会以当时情况而定。没错!大家都会这样想。
情况和人情味很多时候是对立的。也有可能是正立的哦!

‘人情味’是发自内心的,难以拙作。它体现人与人之间的关怀、礼节和尊重。是掏出真爱给每一个人,是用心去慢慢体会的。它不是偏私,不是施舍,不是表面的礼貌。

所谓人情味的范围很旷包括了时间,内心,想法和最敏感的金钱。然而,人情味也体现于细小的事情上,领导对下属的关心;邻里间的互助;见义勇为的行为;为慈善事业捐款等等,这些都可称之为人情味;一位年老人上车不方便,我们伸手拉一把;走在漆黑的巷子里,我们点亮一盏明灯;失败者出现在面前,我们给予的是关怀。

可是很多时候,人情味都被一种叫着‘自私’的东西限制着。如果一个没有人情味的人,当被挖到最心底时,最自私的一面都会浮现出来,因为有可能他的‘个人利益’已经受到威胁。

‘情况’是人的思想把它定下,思维把它模拟。当‘情况’被排在第一时,如果‘个人利益’照排下去,通常排名第三的‘自私’就会把‘人情味’都被贬下去了。也有可能‘情况’被排在第一, 人情味排在第二,这时候‘自私’及‘个人利益’就被抛去远远了。所以‘情况’在每个人的心里都有不一样的重量。这就是所谓的思想把情况定下,思维把情况模拟。

每个人的‘情况’和‘人情味’都有各自的排列和先后。没有对和错,只是想法不同,定义不同。

情况(一)

A将要出席好朋友的婚礼,可是孩子突然发高烧。所以被逼缺席。因为他觉得孩子的情况比较需要他。A 没有错。B 就觉得,好朋友结婚是一生人一次而已,所以一定要出席。孩子可以交由别人照顾。B也没有不对。

情况(二)

A, B, C和D 的皮包仅剩100零吉。A被要求捐款赈灾,可是他的钱要充当孩子的膳食费及医疗费,所以他只捐五块钱。B也同样捐五块,他说最近比较穷,因为女朋友生日,买了礼物明天还要用钱请她吃大餐。C就捐了50块,他觉得救人要紧,自己还可以剩剩吃。D就说,他们有其他人帮,可是没有人帮我,还是救自己要紧。A, B, C和D都没错,相差的只是,情况,利益,自私和人情味的排列。

在两个情况里,你看到情况和人情味的正立及对立吗?

你的排列又是怎样的呢?:)

人情味是“情”感和意“味”,是人的本能和本性,是和谐的人际关系。人间需要人情味!朋友们,让我们人生中的人情味更浓烈一些吧!

以下是我从‘医猫’里看到的,很有意思!

【一道终身受用的测试题】

你开着一辆车。
在一个暴风雨的晚上。
你经过一个车站。
有三个人正在焦急的等公共汽车。
一个是快要临死的老人,他需要马上去医院。
一个是医生,他曾救过你的命,你做梦都想报答他。
还有一个女人/男人,她/他是你做梦都想嫁/娶的人,也许错过就没有了。
但你的车只能在坐下一个人,你会如何选择?
我不知道这是不是一个对你性格的测试, 因为每一个回答都有他自己的原因。
老人快要死了,你首先应该先救他。
你也想让那个医生上车,因为他救过你,这是个好机会报答他。 还有就是你的梦中情人。
错过了这个机会。你可能永远不能遇到一个让你这么心动的人了。

在200个应征者中,只有一个人被雇佣了,他并没有解释他的理由,他只是说了以下的话:

"给医生车钥匙,让他带着老人去医院,而我则留下来陪我的梦中情人一起等公车!'

每个人我认识的人都认为以上的回答是最好的,但没有一个人一开始就想到。

小哲理:是否是因为我们从未想过要放弃我们手中已经拥有的优势(车钥匙)? 有时,如果我们能放弃一些我们的固执,狭隘,和一些优势的话,我们可能会得到更多。

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Afternoon Affair

Sat in a coffee shop, was a quite saturday afternoon, only few customers there, probably most of the people crowd into shopping malls with family and friends. Having a cup of coffee rich in hazelnut flavor with a french toast, was reading a paper from the cafe.

She walked in from the front door, sat exactly the table in front of me, slightly oblique so that I could saw her side clearly. Black gloss silky hair, mild make up, executive dress up with a pair of high heel. Sat straight posture, crossed leg. She looked at me, with a sweet smile. I replied friendly.

The waiter walked toward her, she make an order, just a cup of coffee. The waiter walked away, and was cleaning other table. I was still reading my paper. She looked at me again, I knowed because I felt that and looked back. She smiled, I nodded and smiled back. Her coffee was sent to her, she added on with milk only, stirred it slowly. Took only a sip and she left it on the table, with the lipstick mark at the coffee cup. Asked for bill and she was ready to leave the cafe. She walked to the front door, the waiter opened the door for her, she stopped for a moment and looked back, smiled with me again, seductive way.

I paid. Walked out the cafe and tried to catch her. She just two block away, I followed. A breeze ruffled her hair. She managed it with her fingers, and she noticed me. I smiled to her, she replied as same. She crossed the road and walked to another street. I crossed and followed her with a distance. Fiveteen minutes passed and finally, she walked into an apartment. I stood at the roadside cross the road. Saw her waiting for the elevator. She saw me stood across, then she walked to the main gate of the apartment and left the door slightly opened. Looked at me, induced me to follow her. I crossed and walked in. She waited me in front of the elevator. I said hi, she replied as same. We took the elevator to the fifth floor, walked out from the elevator to her apartment C5-2.

She invited me in, I took a step in and looked around. Well designed apartment, I gave her a compliment on that. She thanked and closed the door, locked. She took a few step toward me, closer and touched me on the chest, leaned forward to me. I held her waist, softly. She took off her coat and touched my face. We kissed. I held her tight, rubbing her back gently. She grabbed my shirt and pulled off. She took off her skirt, I took off my top. She jumped on me gripped with her leg on my waist, strongly. I smiled, she replied as same. She led me to her room. I carried her on top of me, faced front.

I dropped her down on bed. She was opening my belt. I took a deep breath, held her hair. Pants off. Held her up, pushed her against the wall, her back faced me. Kissed her neck, button off her shirt, held her breast. She was catching her breath, I was panting. Rubbed her front, while still kissing her back. I went down, took off the panty, rimming, she was moaning.

She passed me a condom, wild type. I was hard and condom on. She tried to reach me with her hand, tried to touch me. I held her hand over her head, crossed fingers, pressed strongly. Pushing her with the strength. She closed her eyes, catching breath eagerly, she was shivering, weak, and powerless.

I turned her to face me, propped her up. So that she can easily kissed me. I looked at her, she held my neck and kissed my head. I was sweating, muscle was working well, strong core. We had a moment there. Until we reach the peak and organism, both emitted a groan. And end up with smile and sweet kisses.

She put on her panty, I put on my clothes. She poured me a drink, orange juices, with some ice, we both took that. I finished the drink and ready to go. She companied me to the door, kissed me good bye, I replied as same. I took the elevator and left the apartment.

I have no idea what’s her name. Well, no string attached.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Coming Kiss

Have you ever feel badly for a kiss before? Desperately want to kiss someone? Can’t constrict yourself until you bite your own lips? Well, I had, lately…

I have no idea why I am feeling that way recently, probably I am bit horny ya, haha, but everytime the feeling come… wow, just can’t stop thinking of that. uuh…

Well, let me tell you a bit about this kiss. Basically is just a kiss, but it come differently with all the feeling come along… It start from your feet crawling up to your stomach slowly and silky smooth move… and then it pause at your abdomen for a moment with the little and fine touch, one by one nice and gentle… you feel the sizzle at the both side of your abdominal each time when it contact with the skin… making your abs muscle contract and relax at the same time… Then it come further up to your chest… you start to feel the pressure on it, the pressure making you have to take a deep breath and hold it there without exhale it, the heart beat is faster then ever, the temperature raise up until the heat is enough to feel it… then you feel it coming up more from the centre of the chest up to your chin really slow… and slip into the area between the lower lips and your chin. for the first time, your lips start to feel the coming of the kiss, but is not that simple…

When it happen, you know, your lips feel really dry and arid, but your mouth just keep secrete the saliva try to keep your mouth moist… even making you devour all of it and you will never feel enough. And here it come, start touching the lower lips with the little wet tongue, and it come more and more to reach your… And here where it split your lips smoothly without feeling the tear and straight away making you feel desire to be lubricated, just feel the drought replenish again at the right time. Well, the pressure it just fine and enough to take the breath away, and even you can’t breath at the moment, the heart just have to pause over there… Your lips have ever ask for more and it never get enough of all. One follow by another one, getting stronger and stronger each time, deep down to the throat, with all the rhythm move, revolve around and you can’t resist it at all.

Here it come, going to another stage of pleasure. Down to the neck which it missed but not forget… and it come to the Adam’s apple and nibble it, but is always keep trying. When it get enough for that, then move itself to the upper neck and hide behind the ear like no one can ever found it. Smoke in all the pheromone you have and whisper to you how good that feel… Then it goes to another side, touching the ear with the tip of the frolicly tongue, torture you until you just want to give up and make an escape… but your body just weak enough to do that. You start to lose your mind, losing all the strength you have, powerless, losing the breath… suffocated. You try to scream out loud, but you just able to emit a groan… You frantically struggle, catching the breath, but there is just no way out. It just keep forcing you with all the energy, driving you crazy, sapping your vigor, pushing you to the limit… until you totally surrender…unconditional surrender…

Then… You start to breath again, feel alive, and you feel the leaving of the kiss with the final touch on your lips again… gently… Dear God…

Saturday, August 22, 2009

傻渣想说之(二)

我真的为我身为华人而感光荣。。。

今天是周末,无奈还需带工作回家。还好电视正播放八八赈灾活动,看见香港的一大班艺人,联合台湾的一些艺人代表和大马代表(曹格),一起为台湾灾民筹款。看见一些场面和呼吁善心人士捐款的心声,真的很多感动。突然间,我觉得华人很棒哦!很多例子,比如SARS的肆虐,四川大地震, 加上如今的莫克拉袭击台南造成的台湾大灾难,我觉得华人分子站出来的力量很浩大。其实很多西方国也应该有过如此的灾难吧?但我印象中还真的没有任何如此热心感动的活动,还是我一向来对西方的活动都不大兴趣而错过了吧。。。那就对不起咯!

常听说西方国家几先进,几繁荣,是许多人梦寐以求的生活环境,甚至会离开故乡移民国外。无可否认,西方国家可能比较安定,比较休闲,但我就觉得少了那种杂杂的人情味。不是说他们没善心,好心的西方人肯定很多,只是。。。哎哟!不知怎么说,感觉就像少了那种能在夜市买小吃,说八卦的那种味吧!一些华人村,可常看到一些乡村活动,就是那种热闹,那种有烧肉味的聚会,超爽的。。。

其实我并没排斥外国的风味啦!我也超想去外国旅行的,但如果说居住的话,我还是喜欢马来西亚,台湾这样不会很落后,却很可爱的国家(纯属个人意见哦!)

最后想说的-华人很棒!永远都是最“活”,最“火”的人。。。还有还有,最“滑”的人(赠给那些政治人物)嘻嘻。。。


Be proud to be chinese...

Today is weekend, but still need to bring back some office stuff as "home work", too bad. Luckily I can enjoy some tv programme beside working. I watched a TVB programme which gather all the artist from hong kong, taiwan and one malaysia representative, Gary Zhao,to appeal all hong kong residents to donate for the victim in taiwan because of the typhoon. Looking at the disaster area, and listen to their speech, i feel so touch. at that moment, I feel the power of chinese population. for example: the disaster of SARS, SiCuan's earthquake, and now the taiwan's typhoon disaster, you can feel the strong of this population. actually many of western country had also been facing some disaster, right? but seems like i never see this kind of activity. or maybe i miss out it, since im not so interested on it. so sorry...

western country is famous with their technology, always been acknowledged as advance country. its a dream for many people to migrate to europe country, because of the peaceful environment and more relax life trend. but it always lack of some feel of "human". it doesn't mean that they are not kindhearted group, still a lot of them are very helpful. i don't know how to express the feeling, for example, they can't enjoy the food in night market, like Lok-Lok, Lobak etc...seldom talk nonsense in kopitiam...like we can see most of the chinese village, always held a lot of function, so enjoy with the crowded, and also the smell of barbeque pork (xio tubak)! yummy yummy....

don't misunderstanding,I never have bad feeling on europe country, trip to many of europe country still my dream and my target...but there won't be my favourite country to stay in my life. I still love malaysia, taiwan all these "hot hot" & "kepo kepo" country. just my own opinion la...

Last but not lease, Chinese always the BEST!


p/s: CCT, very hard for me to write in english lor...i have try my best, don't mock at me ya.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

傻渣想说之

我普通话太普通,怪小时候不用功,
“你”说广东话我听不懂,“你”识听唔识讲。。。

话说,在一个热闹的怡保都市,一群饿得很的热血沸腾青年们,聚集在远近驰名的怡保老黄鸡饭店,准备享受一顿丰盛的鸡大餐。怎知,大家都累得不想胡闹的当儿,突然间,都被一位广东话不是很凌厉的男孩无心的一句话弄得笑破了肚皮。。。

“老板娘,你有无空。。。空。。。空。。。”
“么‘胸’你要啊??!!” (人渣自己加的啦!)

这句话发生在好几年前了,但当一想起,都很忍不住脱口而笑,而且我相信这是每一个人渣都忘不了的一个回忆,也是我们乱渣最淤的事情了。

广东话真的是许多人渣成员的死穴,也因此造就了不少笑话。。。
“老晒,我要一碟炒‘果’条”。。。”
“边条你要啊??!!” (也是人渣自己加的啦!)
还有 鸡‘腿(tui)’啦。。。这一切一切都不知让我们掉了多少泪水。。。

语言的能力真的很强,一不小心,一个错音,就成了不同的意思了。这可能也是成为很多人彼此之间的误会。。。无奈啊!所以呢!俗语说得好,“野可以乱食,说话唔可以乱讲”。

各位人渣,傻渣平时口不遮拦,但可能有时真的不小心伤了你们的玻璃心,在此傻渣想真心地向你们道歉,傻渣真的并无此意的。。。在我心中,乱渣是最不好色的,但性能力却也是最强的;绝对对女人的胸部没兴趣,也不会故意帮人绑安全带的。。。哎哟!你们还能接受我这样“假”下去吗??!! 算了算了,傻渣还是不想改变。。。哗!好欠揍哦!哈。。。乱渣,你吹啊!空空空我咯!

其实, 坦白说。。。我也要两只虾。。。opps。。。我不是想讲这个啦!
其实,坦白说。。。你是最好的啦!heheheeeee...

ABC version, specially for Agogo:

saya punya bahasa biasa terlalu biasa, marah saya tak belajar semasa sekolah,
kau cakap bahasa kantonis saya tak tau apa, kau tau dengar tak tau cakap bahasa...

sesuatu cerita cakap, di suatu desa yang riuh rendah - ipoh, sekelompok dewasa yang berkelaparan dan hangat berkumpul di kedai nasi ayam yang bernama "lao huang",bersiap sedia untuk menikmati nasi ayam yang sangat hebat. manatau, semasa semua orang yang letih dan tidak bersemangat untuk bermain celaka, tiba-tiba, tertarik dengan seorang budak lelaki yang tak fasih bahasa kantonis dan bercakap sesuatu tak senonoh terhadap tauke-soh kedai itu :" Tauke-soh, kamu ada 'hong hong hong...(buah dada yang banyak dalam bahasa kantonis, 1 kali hong satu biji, hong hong hong maksud banyak lor...)"

percakapan yang tak senonoh ini telah melalui beberapa tahun la, tapi semasa terfikir, kami akan tak tahan dan ketawa. saya percaya ini adalah satu memori di kalangan renzha, juga perkara yang paling "sia sui" untuk kita punya 乱渣.

bahasa kantonis memang kelemahan kebanyakan ahli-ahli renzha, sebab itu juga banyak perkara kelakar terjadi...contohnya...
"tauke, saya nak sepinggan chao 'go' tiu (char kui tiao)..." jawap tauke pula:"mana "tiu" kau mau..." satu lagi saya rasa agogo pun cakap salah selalu, iaitu 'kai tui' (paha ayam)...segala-galanya telah menyebabkan kami mengeluarkan mata air tak tau berapa tong la...

bahasa punya kebolehan memang kuat, satu tak berhati-hati, satu tones yang salah, sudah jadi maksud yang lain. mungkin ini sebab sesetengah orang salah faham, hai, apa boleh buat!oleh itu, simpulan bahasa cakap sangat bagus: makanan boleh cincai makan, bahasa tak boleh cincai cakap...

ahli-ahli renzha sekalian,傻渣selalu mulut tak tutup buruk,mungkin tidak bersengaja memecahkan hati kamu yang buat oleh kaca,di sini, 傻渣dengan hati ikhlas nak cakap sorry, 傻渣tak ada maksud apa-apa.di hati saya, 乱渣paling tak berwarna,tetapi kebolehan seks paling kuat;100% tak minat perempuan punya buah dada, pun semestinya tak sengaja memakai tali keledar untuk seseorang...aiyo, kamu boleh terima saya begitu "palsu" terus ah??!! kira liao la kira liao la, 傻渣lagi bagus tak mau berubah...hua! memang kena pukul lo! haha... 乱渣,kamu tiup ah! hong hong hong saya lor...

sekian, terima kasih....


p/s: 哎呀!忘了解释,其实吃鸡饭当天,乱渣想讲的是:“老板娘,你有无空。。。空。。。空。。。碗啊?”就衰在一个‘碗’字上。。。

p/s: aiya, lupa nak jelas, sebenarnya, semasa makan nasi ayam, 乱渣nak cakap punya maksud ialah :" Tauke-soh, kamu ada 'hong hong hong...woon (mangkuk kosong) tak?" sui atas satu perkataan "mangkuk"...